Wild side
by hatsumiyo momichi
Summary: The twenty-something year old Tavros Nitram moved to the country side, escaping the city and its rushed, loud life. He needed a time-out from life itself. This new begining will make him to learn how to take good care of farm animals, how to get a good crop, and how to have good, wild love-making with his grandfather s helper, Gamzee Makara.
1. Chapter 1

He was staring out the car window, watching the cars go by, the people, the streets, the buildings, the trees, and the civilization. Soon they would arrive to a place he had never seen before in his life, or at least he didn´t remember. They were heading towards the country side, away from the city, away from the suburbs, to a place his only neighbors and friends would be the cows and sheep his grandfather raised with hard work. He kept his eyes fixed on the nature going by his window, the cool air escaping the AC contrasting with the asphyxiating heat from outside, his thoughts still somewhere else. Still back were his friends were at. He felt a tinge of sadness hurt his chest, wanting to come out liquid through his tears, but he refrained from doing so. His father was watching him through the mirror, making sure he was okay and didn´t regret his decision. His father was capable of turning the car around and heading back towards the city if he saw desperation in his son´s eyes. He had decided this. He wanted it. He needed to get away from his ex-girlfriend, who was getting on his last nerve lately, and he needed some time off from reality to think quietly, some time to be alone and decide what he wanted from life. He just seemed to be unable to do so in the rush of friends, parties, job, and fights with said mean girl. He let out a stressed sigh that caught his father´s attention at once.

-You okay, son?-

-uh... oh… yeah, I´m fine. I´m just tired.- He excused himself, taking a deep breath to calm down, trying to convince himself that what he was doing was the right thing. After all, they were just a couple of weeks… he could manage.

-We´re here. - His father chimed excitedly, opening his door as fast as he could after parking somewhere near the big house. Tavros opened his own door slowly, watching in awe as the enormous amount of space unfolded itself all around his new house, making him feel as small as he ever imagined feeling. The hot air blew his fluffy Mohawk around his face, and he wasn't able to hold a couple of deep breaths to feel its scent enter his nostrils and fill his lungs, with a subtle smile on his face. –Son! Come here. - His father called after him, and he followed. The house was bigger than he had imagined, a large barn at the side of it, just a couple of meters away. He could sense the thick smell of animals emanating from inside and hear the familiar sounds. He walked towards the front door where his father had already made his way inside, hearing how his grandfather laughed out of pure joy at how a great surprise it was to have his son finally back at the farm. He smiled deeply as he entered the dirty ran down kitchen to meet his grandfather, receiving a tight hug wet with tears that made his heart shrink with warm affection.

-oh, dear lord, just… look at you!- his tired happy voice seemed to get caught at the back of his tightly closed throat form the emotion, his tears unable to stop dripping from his chin to the floor. –I haven´t seen you in ages! You are so big…- Tavros´ father laughed softly, putting some water to boil on the stove, not needing any more time to feel at home once again.

-He doesn´t remember you dad. - He laughed. –it´s been too long. - His father laughed softly as well, probably remembering how small his grandson was at the time when he met him for the first time.

-Right. - He patted his cheek lovingly, inviting him so sit beside him at the table to wait for the water to boil and eat some fresh pie.

-Where´s mom?-

-You know how she is… she´s at her friend´s house near the town. Said she´ll come back late.

- He said as his son served them some tea, taking the liberty to search for the pie as well and serve it. Tavros wasn´t able to concentrate on the conversation for long, feeling too tired, feeling too dizzy, too overwhelmed. He was sure now he had been there a long time ago, small fragments of something like memories floating around his mind, getting a headache from trying too hard to remember clearly. He asked to see his room and get upstairs to rest, being led by his own father, getting a room all for himself on the highest part of the house, in the attic. It was hotter in there too, but he didn´t really mind much due to the fact that it was almost night time already. He saw his father rush downstairs to get his luggage, being left alone for a while to observe his new room and check if there were any spiders hiding in the corners or in his bed. He got inside his bed, not wanting to cover himself because of the hot weather, hearing how his father put down his heavy bags besides his bed while he slowly drifted into a deep, well needed sleep.

He opened his eyes sharply, waking up a little uneasy, sitting on the edge of the bed to catch his breath, black being the only thing his eyes saw. He had had a nightmare, or at least he thought he had from the way his chest was heaving strongly for air, is hands were shaking, and sweat dripped form his forehead, but he was unable to remember what he had dreamt about. He was confused for a couple of minutes, not remembering where he was or how he had gotten to that hot place thick with the smell of warm wood, but after a while he was able to remember he was far away from the city, in the middle of nowhere in the country side, at his grandfather´s house. And now he needed to use the restroom. He tried the lamp at his bedside table, feeling grateful for the first time in years for electricity. He had half way expected that he would have to light a candle to get a light source. He stood up from the bed, walking towards the door, to carefully go down the stairs after grabbing a flashlight from on top of the big desk besides the door. Probably his own grandfather had put it there in case his grandson needed to get out of the room in the middle of the night. He had just met the old man and he already felt he loved him. Even though, technically, he always knew him. He searched for the bathroom quietly, trying to use his memories of the place to guide himself, not wanting to wake up his father for help. He snorted quietly at that thought, thinking he would have to search for his room as well before that. No point in doing that. He finally found it, being able to relieve his bladder, to then wash his face with the cold water from the rusted sink to cool his heat down a bit, the sweat having been unable to stop by itself. He dried his face and hands with a small towel, turning the lights off before going into the corridor again with the flashlight in hand. He noticed through the window that the moon was high above in the sky, huge and white in the center of a clean dark blue silk sea, illuminating the whole landscape outside beautifully. He decided to keep the flashlight off for a while, getting closer to the window to admire the small hills that looked black in the distance, admiring how the subtle hot breeze made the tall dried grass dance in the night, admiring how beautiful, and simple, and quiet it all was, and realizing just how much he had needed this peace. He kept on smiling as he kept his eyes on the landscape, getting suddenly startled when he saw a dark figure stand near the barn. He tensed up, new, cold sweat dripping from his body, a sudden wave of terror building up inside of him. He couldn´t remember the last time he had felt more afraid in his life, more in danger, weaker. He was sure the figure was some sort of ghost or psychopath, and felt the urge of running through the house to search for his father and ask him for help, to tell him that they all were in danger because a mad man was walking around the farm, now actually entering the large barn slowly. He felt as if they were all in danger. His father, the old fragile man that he had just seen after so many years, and probably the sweet old woman that was also his grandmother… He stashed the flashlight inside his pocket, opened the front door, and went towards the barn, not without grabbing a rake from the grass to protect him from the transgressor. He tiptoed towards the big doors of the barn, seeing the electric light inside blind him for a second as he spied through the door crack, searching for the man, finding him petting a cow. He frowned, opening the door slowly, getting closer form behind, maintaining a safe distance before clearing his throat, pointing the rake at the man. He turned around slowly, having heard the sound he had made, and Tavros found himself staring at a pair of lazy blue eyes that looked at him curiously.

-Whoa there, pretty boy, you might wanna put that down before you hurt yourself. - He snorted, extending a hand towards him to avoid being attacked, his deep, thick southern accent making Tavros lower his weapon for a second.

-What are you doing? This is my grandfather´s property. - he said daringly, still pointing at him with the pitiful rank, his voice sounding as confident as he ever had managed, but his hands making the rank dance from their trembling.

-I know that. - He responded, giving his back to him again, not thinking the younger man had it in him to actually attack him. He continued petting the cow on the nose.

-I… Wh-why are you here… then…? - He suddenly felt stupid. He had just arrived and he was already looking for trouble in a place where it probably didn´t even exist. He started lowering the rank.

-Put it down, I ain´t no bad guy. - He said just as the rank hit the ground, being discarded by the tourist. –Just came by to say goodbye to Belle. - He explained, making it clear he meant the cow he was softly petting.

-I… uh… who are you?-

-Might as well ask the same thing to you. Never saw you here before. - He let the cow alone to turn around once again, finding the foreign man sitting on a wooden bench, rubbing his eyes. –I´m Gamzee. - He said anyways, walking towards him and extending a hand to shake his. Tavros looked at his white skin, dirty nails, and looked up at his face as he shook his cold hand, scooting over to let the other sit by him, still a little skeptic. –I sometimes work for your grandfather. Help him out when no one else can. - He explained. Tavros nodded, looking at his feet.

-Sorry for, you know… Pointing at you with that. - He motioned towards the forgotten rank. Gamzee laughed softly as he shook his head, giving Tavros a long curious look in the face as he did so, not tearing his eyes away for a while, making the other feel a little bit uncomfortable.

-It´s all kinds of fine.- He said cheerfully, still looking at the tan boy, unconsciously nibbling on his lower lip as he did so, his lazy eyes watching his lips purse from embarrassment. –You gonna tell me your name? - He finally asked, a crooked smile on his face.

-Tavros. - He murmured, offering a shy smile as a response. –So, what were you doing, out here this late? You… scared me.-

-No shit, you should have seen your face! - He mocked, remembering his terrified face when he saw him after he came inside. –I said I was saying goodbye to Belle over there. She´s such a good girl, the best cow there is. He´s gonna sell her tomorrow morning, your Grandpa. I don´t want her to go… but I can´t decide on such things, you see? - He said sadly, staring at the fattened cow with a preoccupied expression that madeTavros feel his heart skip a beat. –Such a good girl. - The cow mooed loudly, flattering her ears, making some other cows stir too. –look at her, all up and knowing I´m talking about her! She´s too smart to be a cow. - He said thoughtfully, running his fingers through his hair, noticing Tavros had been staring at him while he spoke. –Sorry to scare ya. - He smiled again, patting his shoulder softly. Tavros felt his cheeks heat up a little, the burning ghost of his touch lingering a short time after.

-It´s-it's okay. - He managed, nodding rapidly, standing up to leave. –I´ll leave you alone… with the cow. - He said soberly, receiving laughter from Gamzee.

-You don´t have to leave. Stay. - He asked, patting the spot where he had been a second ago, inviting him to sit by him again. –there´s not many people around here. Too big of a space. It´s not that usual for me to be able to talk to a good looking guy like you. - He smiled, and Tavros felt his ears get a little red.

-I… fine.- he said, sitting on the wooden bench, sighing, wishing he had a watch to know what time it was.

-So, where are you from? - He asked after a moment of silence.

-The city. - He murmured, staring at Belle. She was a pretty, fat cow. –I just came to visit for a couple of weeks.-

-Huh. I see. Say, do you smoke? - He asked suddenly searching his pockets for what Tavros

thought were cigarettes and a lighter.

-No…- He shook his head, Gamzee standing up with the items on his hand, inviting him to follow him outside.

-Mind if I smoke outside? Come with me. - Tavros smiled amused, going outside into the night with him, noticing again how the bright moon made the fields look completely illuminated by its dreamy light.

-It´s so beautiful out here. - He commented, starting to walk, Gamzee following his careless walk while lighting his cigarette.

-Why would you want to come here? - He asked curiously, taking a long drag of his cylinder, watching the darker man from the corner of his eyes.

-… uh… I just. I don´t know. - He laughed softly. –I just, thought of being alone for a while and thought of this place. Good thing my dad had a house out here.

-I wouldn´t want to go to the city. - He commented, smoking thoughtfully.

-Why not? It´s pretty cool. There´s… technology, for instance. And fashion. - He joked, watching the man´s old clothes.

-nah… Nothing can compare with being completely free out here. - Tavros nodded, thinking he was right. Even though he was already starting to think it would be harder than he had thought to be out there in the middle of nowhere without the crowds.

-Are you married? - He suddenly asked, trying to get his mind to forget the city and focus on the present.

-Me? No. - He giggled, getting a little flushed from what Tavros could tell. –No, no. - He kept on shaking his head, now getting a little nostalgic. –Wouldn´t be legal out here anyways.- he continued, taking the last drag from his cigarette before throwing it to the dirt road and stepping on it until it was completely out. Tavros observed him for a couple of seconds, waiting for him to continue, not understanding what he was talking about. But then he realized what he meant.

-Oh…- He murmured.

-Does that bother you? - He asked, keeping his eyes in front of him, preparing himself to light another one, beginning to regret the impulse of being so honest.

-No… not at all, why would it? - Gamzee looked at him immediately, a confused frown on his face as the flames escaped the lighter.

-What? You mean it? - He asked.

-Of course, why are you looking at me so surprised? - He giggled at his seriously concerned face.

-Just… not many people out here that accept men like me. - He said thoughtfully, still confused.

-I´m not from "out here". - He said, smiling. Gamzee smiled back. He wondered quietly why he had been so honest with the tan boy. He had never told that aspect of his life to anyone that easily, but it just seemed something natural and normal to bring up with him. He felt he wasn´t like the people he had met until now, and that called for a different approach as well.

-Are you… gay too? - He dared to ask, blushing from saying it out loud after so long. He had only been honest with a couple of really close people throughout his life about his sexuality. Tavros laughed softly, looking up at the stars. He stared wide eyed at how close they looked, and at how many there were scattered across the sky. Where he was from, he could almost count the small little bright dots with his fingers.

-Well… Not… Not completely. - He continued. Gamzee didn´t seem to understand him. –I mean, yes, but I have dated women too. I guess I don´t really mind…? - He questioned himself, watching the thick cluster of stars that made up a little fragment of an arm of the Milky Way. He was used to being around "different" people back in the city. Most of the people he knew had had homosexual experiences anyways. Gamzee nodded, biting his bottom lip as he watched Tavros stare up at the sky while walking.

-I…uh… It´s pretty late. - He commented, still watching the younger man. Tavros looked around him for a couple of seconds, trying to recognize where they were, spotting the barn in the distance.

-Right. - He said, looking at the man to say goodbye. He had felt as if he could tell him anything without being self-conscious; he was the kind of person you could trust blindly, according to his hunch. –I have a feeling that I´m gonna see a lot of you. - He joked, thinking about what Gamzee had said earlier about working for his grandfather.

-Probably. - He nodded, smoking his second cigarette. Tavros waved goodbye at him, starting to head back to his house.

-Good night. - Gamzee waved back at him, feeling a sudden void inside of him as he got out of reach, as he slowly disappeared in the distance. He started walking towards his own house, looking back at Tavros as he did so, a mixture of different emotions filling his guts and making his heart race. He had an unsettling feeling that that man was going to make a difference in his life, and he didn´t know if that was a good or a bad thing. He sighed, having finished his second cigarette as he got closer to his house, still thinking of Tavros. He had never met a guy like him in his life.


	2. Chapter 2

He heard his bedroom door shut noisily, waking him up immediately, but he covered his face with the covers to avoid getting up. That was the last thing he wanted after the previous night´s adventure in the barn. But a firm hand grabbed his shoulder strongly, shaking it, demanding for him to wake up. He grunted displeased, not caring who was bothering him. The thing he hated the most was to wake up early, and being woken up. He lowered the covers to see who had dared to interrupt his sleep, and noticed the room was actually still pretty dark.

-Its 5 Am. Time to wake up.- he looked towards the window, then back to his grandfather´s amused face and let out a loud whine.

-What?!- He practically cried, covering his face once again. –You gotta be kidding me…- he whispered softly, deciding to not disobey his grandfather. He sat at the edge of the bed, observing how the old man started to walk away.

-Wash yourself, get dressed, and come down for some breakfast, my boy. I have work for you. - He said happily, being fully alert because of the years and years of practice of waking up at dawn. He grunted again, doing as he was asked, joining the family downstairs after long, tired minutes.

-You look grumpy. - His dad joked, taking a sip of his black coffee. His son gave him a mocking smile.

-Thanks. You look great too. - His father seemed to be pretty tired as well.

-Today´s gonna be a busy day. Gotta sell a cow in a few minutes, the interested man says she´s just what he needed. She´s pregnant, you see. We´re gonna receive a good amount of money too, the man has a kind heart.-

-Belle? - Tavros inquired, biting down on his toast. His grandfather looked at him puzzled, nodding.

-yes, that´s just her name!-

-Lucky guess.-

-Anyways, I´m going to have my grandson here help out the cow get inside the truck, and then I´m gonna show him around so he can get started with the unused land I have. We might be able to grow some vegetables for the house´s use and for selling at the town.-

-Sounds great dad, I hope he doesn´t mess up.-

-Thanks dad. - The all laughed warmheartedly, hearing the old woman get inside the house with the fresh milk.

-He´s already here! The Makara boy is helping out. - She announced, greeting her son and grandson with a big smile. –Yesterday I didn´t get to say hello, my dear! And look at you, Rufioh, you´re so handsome! You look just like the father I wanted you to be…- She started to get a bit melancholic as she poured the milk on a pot to boil it before offering it to her guests.

-Should I go…? - Tavros ask preoccupied, recalling that he was the one supposed to help with the cow issue.

-Yes, please, if you´re already done. - His grandfather answered, preparing to stand up to lead the way.

-I know where it is, don´t worry, Grandpa! - He said hurriedly, going towards the door to let himself outside. He walked towards the barn hurriedly, the chilly air reminding him just how early it was, entering the open doors to find the cow´s buyer. He saw a chubby, tall man just beside the cow, and found the guy he had met yesterday by him as well, lifting some hay to get it out of the way. He looked up when he noticed someone entering, giving Tavros a big smile.

-Good morning. - He said cheerfully to both men. –My name is Tavros, my, uh, grandfather is busy at the moment, what can I help you with? - He said calmly, shaking the older man´s hand to greet him.

-You can help this kid get the cow up on the truck, and I´ll pay ya. - He said, grinning, letting himself rest at the bench he and Gamzee had shared the night before.

-Sure. - Gamzee helped Tavros move the cow by pulling her, petting her, and talking to her in a soft, loving tone of voice. Tavros watched him converse with the cow as if she were a human being, and wasn´t able to hold inside a little giggle. It was an adorable sight. They both took a while to get the cow to lift her legs and cooperate, but after a couple of long minutes they were already closing up the transportation truck. The man paid Tavros what the cow was worth, adding a little tip for Gamzee´s help. The man pulled away with his new cow, driving carefully through the dirt road, and Tavros thought he saw Gamzee trying to suppress a tear. –Don´t worry… she´ll be in good hands. You saw how nice he was. - He tried to calm him, rubbing his back in small circles to show him he was actually preoccupied.

-I know…- he managed, pushing the knot in his throat all the way back, were it couldn´t be found.

-Wanna go for a walk or something? I have a feeling my grandpa is gonna make me work a ton after this, so might as well relax a bit before that.- He laughed softly, starting to walk along the dirt road anyways, half way expecting Gamzee would follow.

-I have work to do too. - He excused himself. –Work never ends out here. You be sure of that. - He teased him, giving him a look that showed him that he was actually serious.

-oh… sorry, then.-

-nah, the only problem is that your grandpa is the one that´s making me work. We can´t both scape and go unnoticed. - He explained, receiving Tavros´ childish grunts as a response.

-You´re right. - He sighed, starting to head back towards the main house.

-But… later on… I mean, if you don´t have anything to do…- he started, scratching his scalp nervously, his fingers getting caught at some thick knots of rebel black hair. –We can, maybe, just… Go to the town, and, I dunno…- Tavros grinned, motioning Gamzee to follow him towards the house to receive instructions. –Get some drinks, just you and me. - Tavros thanked the rising sun for starting to light the earth, and therefore let him be able to see the red blush that had settled upon Gamzee´s cheekbones.

-Of course. - He accepted, and the other grinned in his direction. –Might have to be pretty late though, I don´t know how much work this old man will give me.- He joked, opening the front door, letting Gamzee go inside as well.

It was already late in the afternoon, the sun burning the sky and Tavros´ bare skin, his sweat glistening against the yellow light. He was already almost done with eliminating the undesirable weed off from the land, even though he had done it only with his father as a helping hand. He had hoped Gamzee would help him to get over with it sooner, but his grandfather had said the scrawny man didn´t have the muscles needed to do such a task. So said man was watching him from the distance, near the stable where he was feeding a few old horses his grandfather kept because they were family, not caring to hide the way he licked over and over his lips each time Tavros took a minute to dry off the sweat from his forehead, letting him admire his well built torso and big arms. He thought he had a perfect, well-built body that was almost a sin to look at. Just a few glimpses of it were enough to make him feel hot under his own clothes, and being caught looking at him several times had also made him feel uneasy. The good thing was, the father hadn´t noticed at all. Tavros suddenly took off the thick leather gloves that he had used to protect his hands from the rough plants, and went towards Gamzee. The other one started to look around nervously, trying too hard to not stare at his abdomen, his chest, his arms, but he was failing miserably.

-Hey, would you mind putting that weed in a bag or something? I´m gonna take a shower, I don´t think I could handle bending over again to lift it.- He said, fanning himself with his hand to cool down a bit, some droplets of sweat falling down his brow.

-uh, I, uh… Y-yes. I mean no. I don´t mind. I will do it, don´t worry about it. - He stumbled over his words, trying to concentrate on fixing his eyes on the dirt under his feet. He heard Tavros chuckle amused, starting to walk away.

-Thanks! Hey, how about I meet you at the barn later on, I forgot I have to unpack all my stuff before my dad gets pissed.-He said cheerily, jogging back to the house, his golden skin bewitching the black haired man that stood there without taking his eyes off his back.

He finished setting up his room, having put all of his clothes inside the huge closet, putting his sentimental items on the night table, taking a minute to rest his back on the bed and think over his decision. He wasn´t regretting it has he had thought he would at some point, but he definitely hadn´t liked the hard work that much. He remembered his father had to leave the next day for the city, since he did have a job to keep up with. He sighed, not very excited about the fact that the only familiar person he had brought with him was going to leave him alone. Not that he didn´t love his grandfather and grandmother… But it still helped to not feel so isolated to have his dad walking around like he did at their apartment. He looked at his watch, noticing it was already nearing 9 PM. He wondered if he was making the scrawny man wait for him in the barn. He smiled at that thought, thinking he hadn´t felt so flattered in a really long time. He usually wasn´t very intuitive, but it wasn´t hard to notice the way Gamzee looked at him. It felt good to know somebody got turned on by the mere presence of him. He chuckled, getting up from the bed at last, looking for something else to wear to go check out the town. He decided to dress with whatever he found, guessing that the town wasn´t all that impressive, and that he already had more modern clothes than many people around there.

-Where are you going?- His father inquired when he saw him go down the steep stairs, as he got out of the bathroom to go get some sleep.

-To the town. Grandpa´s helper invited me to see it. - He said while putting on his chocolate colored jacket.

-Who? Oh, wait, yeah, I saw him around. Aren´t you tired, though?!- He said dramatically, and Tavros guessed his body was sore from all the hard work he had to do during the day. –You should get some rest.-

-No, I´m fine dad. You´re the one that´s getting old around here. - He teased, receiving a soft nudge from his father.

-You´re so funny. - He answered pretending to be mad, going off to his room. –Don´t come back too late, remember you have to wake up at dawn. - He emphasized "at dawn" with painful, stressed out words that made Tavros reconsider his plans.

-I´ll be fine. - He laughed, getting to the front door, heading towards the barn.


	3. Chapter 3

-I hope I didn´t make you wait too long…- He started as he got inside the tall building, catching Gamzee sitting on the wooden bench, cleaning his wallet.

-Hey. No, I only got here a few minutes ago. - He lied, smiling lazily.

-Okay… let´s go? - Gamzee nodded, standing up to lead the way.

-I left my car near here. - He informed, making Tavros walk quite a while despite that.

-You have a car? - He asked to make conversation, receiving an obvious nod.

-It´s pretty old though, nothing too impressive. Especially for a boy like you. - He gave him a playful wink, to then point at the rusty old truck that back in the day might have been indigo.

-…That thing works? - He asked preoccupied, giving him a concerned look as he saw the rusty thing among the long grass.

-Yeah. - He assured, opening the door for him to get him inside, explaining that it had some problems with the passenger´s door. –I don´t use it much though, I like walking. And riding horses. - He giggled stupidly, making Tavros laugh as well. The truck made a strange, rough sound as its engine came to life, polluting the country air with its thick gasoline smell. Tavros had no idea how Gamzee actually got the thing to work correctly, and get on the dirt road, heading the opposite way from which he had arrived the day before. –Just a few minutes and we´ll get there. Not too impressive either, but I like it. - He referred to the town. Tavros nodded, putting on his seatbelt, telling Gamzee to put his on as well.

-I don´t do that fancy shit. - He said, refusing to put it on. Tavros sighed amused, letting him be.

They were in silence for a couple of minutes, Gamzee trying to think of what to say to not bore the city boy.

-So… You had a girlfriend back at in the city?- he asked, maintaining his eyes on the dusty road, knowing that he had to be careful to not hit any lost animals that could get in the way.

-I, uh… Yes. I did. But, not anymore. - He said a little bit melancholic, remembering her slender face, her wavy black hair, and her huge attitude.

-Huh. Why is that?-

-Uhm… She just… wasn´t what I expected. My friends made me realize I could do much better. - He said remembering their daily fights. She never did seem to appreciate his presence or his love. She just seemed to gain more pleasure by having sex with him, and humiliating him. –I thought I was happy, but turns out I was not. - He said thoughtfully, wondering how he had been able to fall in love with her despite her sour treatment.

-I see…- He said quietly. Another silence took over the truck.

-How about you? Do you… live alone? - Gamzee huffed, still staring at the dark road.

-I live with my dad. I used to live with my brother as well, you see, but he left for the city. - Tavros nodded slowly. –I think I get along better with animals than with people, though. - He joked, laughing softly, knowing it was true. Tavros was able to see the dim lights of the town, and soon they parked at the side of the road. It looked like a common suburban area, the houses close to one another, some of them used for selling goods and other things.

-Looks cute. - Tavros commented, being led by Gamzee through the small town. He had actually seen even smaller towns, so he wasn´t specially bewildered by how simple it was. He saw some people look at him funny, as if they knew he wasn´t from there.

-They know everybody from here, ignore their nosy eyes. - he advised him, also noticing the way the people, and specially the old women started to talk in whispers, wondering who he was. Not a lot of people moved in out of the blue. Gamzee led him to a small bar, saying hi to a couple of men and women that he surely saw every once in a while. They sat in the furthest edge of the place, both of them asking for beers. Tavros was amazed at how big the glasses were.

-I don´t think I can drink the whole thing. - He laughed softly, taking a sip of it anyways. It seemed to be the best one he had ever tasted. They sat there a long time, talking about their lives. Gamzee listened to him talk amazed, hearing all of the incredible anecdotes the other had to tell. He wondered if he would have had a more exciting life as well if he would have lived in the city. Out there in the open he hadn´t had many experiences with anything, except maybe the time his brother had started doing drugs and he had joined him in the vice, ending up being an addict. He wasn´t like that anymore, but he had found a new way to feel good and forget where he was at sometimes. He was an alcoholic. But he tried to control himself in front of the city boy, not wanting to scare him off. Even though the younger boy was already done with half of the huge beer and was asking for another, a set of intoxicated, contagious giggles escaping his numb lips. He doubted the other was going to take having another one after that one. He was used to it by now, and needed four or more to get the happiness he looked for, but the other´s eyes were already blurry. He chuckled at that. As for now he was really enjoying his company, noticing how much he was missing that kind of human contact. He had only had a good friend out there, and he had gone off to the city as well. He told Tavros about that, explaining that his friend Karkat had always had more brains than him, and had decided to go to college far away. He had gotten a bit melancholic once he mentioned his friend, but Tavros was quick to take his mind off of that. –So… You´ve had any boyfriends? - He asked maliciously, traveling the smooth circle of the edge of the thick glass with his fingers, his slightly intoxicated side talking for him. Gamzee looked around scared, afraid someone had heard Tavros. The men from the closest table were laughing at one of their friends who was too busy trying to get to the restroom before puking. He breathed a little bit more calmly, glaring at the younger man.

-Shh! - he scolded, receiving an apologetic, playful laugh from Tavros.

-Sorry…- He whispered, leaning in closer over the table. –So? - He continued drinking his beer, soon finding the bottom of the now empty glass.

-I don´t… Well, no. - He shook his head, embarrassed. Tavros giggled amused at the blush that quickly took over his face. He could tell he never talked about that subject, being such a taboo matter in that place.

-So… uh, are you… You know. - He gave him a strange look that Gamzee wasn´t very sure he understood what it meant.

-What? - He smiled nervously.

-… Are you a virgin? - He asked a little bit more quietly, watching from the corner of his eyes as the waitress headed towards them.

-Wh-what?!- He decided he would never ask him out for drinks again. It seemed to really get his inhibited side out. The waitress set the two extra beers on the table and Gamzee took the chance to compose himself.

-Do you need anything else? - She asked out of courtesy, both men shaking their heads no and thanking her for the beers. She left after that, telling them to let her know if they wanted to pay. Gamzee began drinking his second beer, trying to avoid Tavros´ stare.

-So? - He asked again, insistently.

-I´d rather not talk about that, man. - He said uncomfortable. Tavros grinned, understanding that he was, but preferring to not humiliate him by accident. He was feeling dizzy and cheerful: an obvious sign to him that he was just a step from being really drunk. He wondered what the percentage of alcohol had the beer he had drunk to get that happy with only one glass. The stuff was good. He set the beer aside, not wanting to aggravate the potential uncomfortable situation. He wasn´t in the right place to get drunk and start saying stupidities. He offered it to Gamzee, who took it despite still having some inside his glass. He seemed to be pretty fine and not even a bit dizzy.

-What time is it? - He broke the small silence that had settled over the small table, and Gamzee checked on the wall clock that it was already nearing 1 in the morning. –It´s pretty late…- He began rubbing his eyes to scare the tiredness and dizziness away. –And my grandpa is gonna make us wake up at dawn.- He emphasized the words "at dawn" just like his father had done, being sure he´ll regret staying up that late in the morning. Even though he had had a pretty fun time with his acquaintance.

-You´re gonna have to get used to that. - He chuckled, jugging down his beer and Tavros´. They stood up from the table, the waitress going to get the money they owed. Gamzee paid for the beers and soon they were heading towards the exit, finding the moon high above the dark sky, and the air especially chilly. Gamzee told him about his daily routine as his grandfather´s helper, the way he had to be punctual, how he had to get there early and had to work hard. He told him he thanked his new set of muscles to help out now with the heavy work. Tavros chuckled, telling him he wasn´t all that built. The ride to his house was just as chatty and trivial, much like a small private time to get to know the simplest things about one another. Gamzee took the chance to warn Tavros about the things his grandfather didn´t like, and he thanked it for not having to commit an error to find out. He also told him he was going to teach him how to milk the cows in the morning, a job he had to do usually because of Tavros´ grandmother growing arthritis, how to make goat cheese and many other things Tavros forgot because of how tired he already felt. When they got to the house all the lights were out, including the barn´s. They began talking in whispers to not scare the animals as they got out of the parked truck, Gamzee having to open the door in a quiet set of giggles when he noticed Tavros couldn´t do it.

-Thank you for the night out. - He said quietly, watching his house from afar while holding on to the truck´s door to not fall from tiredness and being still dizzy. –I can´t remember the last time I had gone to get drinks. - He chuckled. Gamzee nodded quietly. A subtly wind blew on his hair softly, and he took the time to breathe in the sweet smell of wet dirt and animals once again, smiling up at the huge moon that glared at them from above. He was starting to love the gorgeous country nights. He couldn´t see a single electric light in miles around, and that combined with the black hills and stillness of the emptiness shook something inside of him. He looked up at Gamzee, who was staring at him back while he looked around. He smiled up at him warmly. –Thank you. - He said again, lifting a hand up, letting it crawl over the man´s shirt as he went up his chest, cupping the back of his head as he got closer, closer, making Gamzee gasp in surprise as he felt the other´s tender lips rest over his. He could feel how those lips were burning his skin, sending electric jolts though his spine, making him instinctively surround his waist with his hands and rub his back slowly as he moved his lips along with the other´s. He could taste the alcohol on his lips and the euphoria, he could feel his heart pounding furiously against his ribcage, the thud in his ears, hear the little moans he let himself gasp as he felt the other´s tongue slide over his lips and ask to get inside his mouth. Tavros let his arms surround the other´s neck, bringing him closer as he tasted the inside of his mouth noisily, breathing heavily while searched for Gamzee´s tongue to suck on it. He liked the way Gamzee breathed in quickly to catch his breath, sounds of pleasure escaping his lips as he breathed out, grasping his jacket tightly in his hands. He lifted his knee slowly between Gamzee´s legs, rubbing his crotch slowly, hearing a loud moan being exhaled by the older man as he hid his face in Tavros´ neck.

-Wait…- he gasped, getting Tavros´ leg away from his intimacy. –No…- he pleaded, already too overwhelmed to continue. He had never gotten that far after all, and he wanted him to stop despite the erection he could feel trapped inside his old jeans. Tavros let him go, looking at him a bit amazed. He was able to see by the size of the tent in his pants just how much he wanted him.

-S-sorry…- he mumbled wiping some messy saliva from his mouth. –I… thought you…- he started, hoping he hadn´t been confused by Gamzee´s intentions.

-it´s too fast… too soon for that.- he mumbled, staring at the ground, using his hand and his position to try to hide his erection awkwardly. Tavros smiled. No, he wasn´t wrong.

-Okay…- he was going to add that it was a little bit uncomfortable having sex on the dirt anyways, but he preferred to keep that for himself.

-I´ll… see you tomorrow. - He said, clearing his throat. Tavros nodded leaning in for another soft, sweet kiss on the lips that Gamzee received with no problems.

-Good night. - He said quietly, smiling playfully, starting to walk towards his house quickly to get inside his bed and take shelter form the cold. Gamzee watched him go away while standing there, waiting until he got inside to leave. He still felt the heat in his body and the hardness of his cock, deciding that it was better to release himself than to oblige it to go away. He hid himself by the truck, taking out his penis to pump it vigorously, still being able to taste Tavros´ mouth, to feel his manly cologne, to remember the sweet, delicious rub he had given him to excite him. He came soon after on his own palm, whispering the younger man´s name as he wet his hand and the dirt, and saw bright lights behind his closed lids.


	4. Chapter 4

He opened his eyes suddenly, seeing darkness. He sat up, looking around, slowly remembering where he rubbed his eyes with his palms to drown the headache he now noticed he was feeling. Great. He squinted his eyes to see better, stretching his hand towards the top drawer on his bedside table, thinking it wouldn´t hurt to check his phone for the time. It made a low vibrating sound as it trembled in his hand, its bright screen blinding him and piercing sharp knives through his skull. Bad idea. It said it was around 5 AM, but he thought he couldn´t be sure. He thought it would be nice to check his messages on the internet, but then he remembered he wouldn´t get any signal out there. He made a mad, frustrated sound escape his throat as he turned the device off again, stuffing it back in the drawer where he surely would leave it for the rest of his visit. He laid back down on the bed, feeling a wave of dizziness was over his head as he did so, and covered himself with the covers to get some more sleep and try to sleep off the hangover. He closed his eyes, and drifted off.

-Son, I´m leaving.- He jumped startled, opening his eyes immediately, seeing his father´s face next to his. –Son?-

-Yeah, dad…- He grunted while nodding, sitting up to pretend he was fully alert.

-I´m already leaving. Be good, and… Is that alcohol I smell?- He leaned close to his face, sniffing him, making Tavros grunt and try to push him away. –You reek of alcohol, son.- He chuckled, knowing he had drunk too much, and knowing his head must hurt like hell. He had also known the bliss of the town´s alcohol when he was younger.

-Why are you leaving so soon?- He tried changing the subject.

-I gotta get back to work. Get up, grandpa was already asking for you!- He clapped his hands to pump good humor into the grim, dark room, making Tavros grunt in pain and anger as he laid back down on the bed. –Bye son. Be good.- He repeated, leaning down over him to press a soft kiss on his forehead.

-Bye. I´ll see you…-

-Not so soon I hope!- He flashed his white teeth before leaving, closing the door behind him. Tavros felt a pang of sadness hurt his chest, missing his father already as he heard him go down the stairs. He was a good father. He sighed, trying to forget it, trying to suck it up and not hurt for it so soon. He decided to get up and ask his grandfather for a pain killer, knowing it would be no use. He probably didn´t even know what a Valium was. He tried to remember what he had drunk for the pain to be so bad, and he slowly remembered fragments of the night before. The beer, yes, it had been a beer. He was never having one of those again. The ride towards and back from the small, cute town. And he suddenly remembered having tasted Gamzee´s lips. He blushed uncontrollably, covering his mouth in shame, remembering every last bit of contact he had made with the other man´s body. He tried to remember if they had sex, but he was sure they didn´t. He sighed a little bit ticked off, mad for the lack of control over himself he had when he was drinking. He didn´t know if he should apologize. He couldn´t remember if Gamzee had opposed. He could remember he himself had liked it, though. He obliged himself to get up and grab some fresh clothes to wash up before his grandfather nagged him.

It was still dark when he got outside. He didn´t eat any breakfast, both because he wanted to avoid his grandfather noticing he had a hangover and because he felt too dizzy like to eat anything. His grandfather had told him to go fetch milk for their breakfast since he wasn´t going to eat, and there he was, walking towards the barn where he knew the fattened cows were at, mooing and stomping out of good humor for the new day, those happy bastards. He grunted, still feeling grumpy from the pain, and entered the large barn. He heard someone murmuring. He got closer to the cows, and saw the black haired man sitting down on a small chair besides one of the fat animals. He heard him come inside and greeted him with a small smile.

-Good morning.- Gamzee greeted him to then get back to grabbing the cow´s udders, starting to tug at her tits again to squeeze the warm milk out of her. She mooed loudly, and Tavros could have sworn it was as if she was greeting him as well.

-Hey…- He stood next to Gamzee, curious as to what he was doing. –Does that… hurt her?- He asked after a moment of silence, bending down a little to watch him closely.

-Naw.- He said confident, letting go of her to then stand up. –Your turn.- Tavros looked at him for almost a full minute, not being so sure of wanting to touch the cow. –Come on, she´s waiting for you.- He teased him, backing up a little bit to let him sit at the small chair. Tavros did as asked, sitting down and facing the pink tits that hanged from the black and white animal before him. He bit his lips, not sure of how to proceed. He looked up at Gamzee, who chuckled amused and bent down to teach him. He grabbed the cow once again, telling Tavros to watch how he did it. Then he told him to copy him. Tavros let his hands surround the tits, and tried pulling them, obtaining nothing more than a loud cow. He giggled at his own failure, and patted the cow to make her shut up. He felt like a child. Gamzee chuckled along, taking Tavros´ hand to guide him through it. –Squeeze tight.- He ordered him, and Tavros obeyed, feeling Gamzee´s slender, warm hand over his, squeezing as well. Somehow they managed to milk the cow at last, hearing the heavy sound of liquid splashing against the container under her, and Tavros began to laugh goodheartedly. He never thought he was going to milk a cow in his life, and now he felt so accomplished and strangely happy. Gamzee let go of his hand, sure that Tavros was an expert now. He looked at him and Tavros did the same, a childish smile on both of their faces that faded slowly as they realized they were much too close to one another´s face. Tavros was able to see his reddened cheeks as he stood up to get away. –Milk a little more, we better get that inside your house soon.- He said, starting to walk slowly around the cow distractedly. Tavros did as asked again, suddenly remembering he had a headache. It slowly came back.

His grandfather boiled the milk they gave him, since his wife had felt sick and was still in bed, and he ordered Tavros to clean the stables while they ate breakfast. He did as asked, and the day went by as a hazy rush of work, sweat, heat and animals. He was still tired from the day before and for staying up that late, and he hadn´t spoken to Gamzee since that morning. He had forgotten to bring up the subject of the night before and apologize, even though he didn´t really think that was an appropriate thing to do. He looked into the orange horizon and felt grateful that the heat was going to die down. He glanced up at him as he finished off feeding the few horses, noticing he was already done with whatever task his grandfather had ordered for him to do and was now sitting against the barn, smoking silently, watching him back. He smiled shyly before taking another puff at the thing, to then look away as if he hadn´t been watching him the whole time. Tavros chuckled. He cleaned his hands on his pants, looking back at the horses again. He remembered last time he tried ridding one at a fair he fell and broke his arm. He shook his head, wondering if he would do any better now that he was ten years older. He held on to that though, walking over to where Gamzee was at.

-Hey…- He lifted up a hand as he got closer, and Gamzee nodded back as a response. –Do… do those horses work?- He asked, watching as Gamzee suddenly began to laugh loudly, amused, letting the smoke escape his nostrils and mouth as his body began to shake under his laughter.

-Well they sure as hell ain´t broken.- He responded, watching as Tavros´ cheeks got red form embarrassment.

-You know what I mean…- He said in his defense, chuckling along. He waited until Gamzee stopped laughing at him to turn around and face the horses, waiting for a response.

-Yeah. Sometimes I ride them to the town or my house. When I don´t feel like using my truck.- He commented, standing up. –They´re pretty fast, don´t let their age fool you.-He continued, starting to walk towards the stable, expecting the younger man to follow. He touched one of the horses´ snout while it ate the rest of its dinner, petting at it and smiling quite stupidly. –This one´s Buck.- He told him, turning around to make sure he was listening. –But if you ain´t no expert, I´d say you start out ridding Spot over there.- He pointed at a white horse with a big brown spot on his face, honoring his own name. Tavros nodded. –He´s a good listener.- Tavros wasn´t able to tell if he meant the horse was good at taking instructions, or at listening to a man´s useless attempts at conversing with it. Tavros kept quiet for a moment, thinking that his grandfather wouldn´t mind if he went and did whatever he pleased now that he was done with his work.

-Would you… teach me?- He asked then, reaching a hand out to touch Buck as well. The horse backed up and gave him a piercing glare through its black eyes. Gamzee didn´t seem to notice.

-Of course.- He assured him, opening the gate right away to get started. He then prepared the horses while Tavros waited and observed what he was doing, trying to memorize the steps to remember them next time and maybe impress him. He smiled at that. Gamzee called him over to Spot, telling him it was ready to mount. Tavros stood by the beast, looking up at his tall back where he was supposed to climb, and felt small. He doubted he was going to be able to get up there without embarrassing himself. –Just grab this and pull yourself up, I´ll help you.- He assured him, crouching a bit to ready himself in case he needed to push him up by the leg.

-Okay…- He mumbled, holding onto the mount and pulling himself up by the strength of his biceps. Gamzee helped him anyways knowing that a good pair of arms weren´t always enough to get on top of such a tall animal. And Tavros found himself on the horse at last, glad that he didn´t fall off just yet, beginning to feel his heart beating hard and rapidly inside his chest and making his breathing start to get uneven. It was tall. The animal was stirring. –oh shit, I´m gonna fall!- He laughed, holding onto the reins desperately, leaning forward to grab the horse´s neck in case he started getting violent.

-It´s okay, you´re just fine.- He chuckled, watching him shut his eyes close as if he didn´t want to see if he did indeed fall off.

-No, no, no, get me off!- He kept on laughing nervously, knowing he was being a coward, but being unable to keep the memories of his broken arm, the hospital, and the stitches away from his mind. Gamzee petted the horse in case it got scared from Tavros nervousness, and then touched Tavros´ head to get his attention. –Get me off!- He pleaded again, this time showing some stray tears shining in his eyes and wanting to fall from his eyes. He was beginning to get really scared.

-Move back.- He told him firmly, moving his hand as if to make his order more explicit. Tavros let go of the reins slowly, trying to move closer to the horse´s rear, starting to shake, knowing he would fall off if he wasn´t careful enough. Gamzee waited for him to make space and jumped up, getting on the horse easily in front of Tavros.

-I wanna get off!- He repeated again, letting his hands hold on to Gamzee´s shoulder, accidentally digging his nails in his flesh from fear.

-Don´t be scared, city boy, I´m not gonna let you get hurt.- He told him with a smile, trying to get a good look at him by turning his head around. Tavros looked at him for a second, slowly starting to nod. He wasn´t going to argue. –Hold on tight.- He advised him, and the younger man surrounded his torso with his arms tightly, getting as close to him as he could manage, letting his head rest against his back. Gamzee´s cheeks got red as he sensed his hot breathing warming up his back. He then licked his lips, and slowly made the horse get out of the stable, closing the gate behind him expertly. Tavros just watched the ground, trying to get used to the frightening height. –Where to?- He asked playfully, making the horse jog a little in no specific direction.

-I have no idea.- He chuckled, speaking next to Gamzee ear in case he couldn´t hear him. Gamzee decided to show him the real beauty of where he lived.

-Aight.- He whipped the reins to get the horse to run, making Tavros squeak and hug him tighter, lifting dirt and making the beast under them neigh loudly as it took off towards the mountains rapidly. And it was freedom. It was euphoria, and it was freedom, and it was going back to nature and embracing its perfection. The tall grass ran by in a yellow blur, and his grandparents, house and barn were left behind soon after. They could see the trees in front of them from afar getting closer, the mountains maintaining their huge distance as well as the sun. He dared to lift his face from Gamzee´s back and look around, swallowing the thick warm air and almost being unable to breathe. It seemed as if they were the only ones on the fields. They tasted the wind on their buds and felt the speed caress their skin, Tavros´ flesh getting covered with goose bumps completely. And he was laughing like a small child from the speed, giggling and screaming into Gamzee´s hair because it felt so wonderful, and he swore he was flying through the air, and the horse was speeding up and leaving behind every trace of civilization, leaving behind everything that made them human. And his heart was ripping through his rib cage furiously, and his hands were shaking from the frenetic pulse as he held on for his life to Gamzee´s body. And then they came to a stop. He found himself panting for air, and he looked around to see where they were. He hadn´t noticed they had left the open fields to wander around some crowded trees, and he wondered if there was a deep forest beyond the furthest trees. They continued to jog into the vegetation, entering a much darker place than they were before, only patches of dying, orange sun being visible over the foliage. Tavros´ breathing calmed down, and he barely remembered the fear he had felt when he had gotten on the animal.

-That was incredible.- He murmured into Gamzee´s ear, accidentally sending a shiver down the older man´s spine. He could hear the grin on his voice. Tavros wanted to add that he wanted to do it again, and that he wanted to ride on the fields forever with him if he could, but he refrained from doing so. They were getting deeper into the trees, and the silence was getting too thick like to perturb it. He suddenly felt curious as to where they were going, but he didn´t ask. So he just held on to him tightly despite the fact that they were barely going faster than a quick walk, waiting to see what it was that he wanted to show him.

-This is it.- He said after a while of silence, the only noise being the horse´s hoofs hitting the ground. Tavros let go of him and Gamzee got down, lifting his arms up to offer some help to the other. Tavros suppressed a chuckle, letting the other pick him up and help him down. Gamzee tied the horse to the nearest tree, making sure that the beast didn´t escape and left them alone so far away from the farm. Then he sighed deeply, feeling a little bit sore from how tight Tavros had clung to him. But he didn´t complain. –Come on.- He smiled mysteriously, starting to walk among the dried leaves and moist dirt. Tavros followed closely, looking around to see if he saw any kind of wild life, slowly recognizing the subtle noise in the background to be running water. Soon, they were face to face with a river, its clear water running among the musky stones. It looked as if it had a slow and weak current. It definitely was perfect for a good swim. But the transparent, fresh liquid wasn't all that left Tavros open mouthed. The secret stream was beautifully concealed by the branches above, the patches of light shining on the small waves that snaked around the stones. It gave it a magical atmosphere.

-Gamzee, this is…- He was amazed.

-beautiful, isn´t it?- He replied almost proudly, crossing his arms over his chest as he smiled at the place that saw him grow up and beat the heat of summer away.

-Yeah…- He got closer to the water, crouching down and touching it with the tip of his fingers. –Wanna swim?- He then asked, smiling playfully at the black haired man. The other chuckled at his naughty face, shaking his head no.

-It´s almost night time already. Don´t want you getting sick.- Tavros pursed his lips a bit disappointed, dipping his hand inside the water to feel its coolness. He then stood up, hand dripping wet, and went towards Gamzee.

-Tomorrow, then… maybe?- He asked.

-If there´s time.- He responded. Tavros knew he was going to say that. He wrinkled his nose and touched Gamzee´s face with his soaking, cold hand, placing it over his eyes, nose and mouth, getting his whole face wet, and receiving his displeased, playful grunts as he tried to push him away.

-Stop!- He giggled, grabbing the other´s wrist to avoid his hand getting it all over his face again. Tavros stared at him with an innocent grin, to then bite his own lips. Gamzee had such beautiful dark eyes. He leaned in closer instead of pulling his arm free as Gamzee expected, tilting his head slowly as he inched closer to his pale face, his half lidded eyes shutting completely once he was close enough to brush his lips softly against Gamzee´s. The older man let a weak gasp escape his throat. They closed the distance, both mouths fitting perfectly against the other, molding and moving slowly in a dance of lips, teeth and tongue. Gamzee tasted so sweet and smoky. Tavros felt so soft and warm. And the younger man surrounded him with his arms again to bring him closer, digging his fingers on his hair, wrapping his tongue on his, breathing heavily and sporadically against his hot, pale face. They could have kissed until dawn if his horse wouldn´t have neighed so loudly, waking them up from their trance.

-Um…- He laughed softly, feeling his face red and hot. He glanced up at Gamzee, seeing him in the same state, struggling for the words to come out.

-We… better get going.- he managed, clearing his throat, licking his lips over and over as if he wished to taste him on the residuals of saliva still covering his lips. Tavros nodded, waiting for Gamzee to lead the way, noticing how the splotches of light that filtered through the trees were disappearing.

* * *

**Sorry for taking so long but I have a lot of fanfics going on, specially on Deviant art **

**But thank you for keeping up with me! **


	5. Chapter 5

Gamzee stepped inside his house, turning the lights on. He gave a quick glance to the dirty wall clock that hung near the old refrigerator, and guessed that his father was fast asleep. It was pretty late. He had gotten distracted with the pretty city boy, having sat with him for hours after their ride on the horse, smoking and chatting outside the barn until the moon came out and the younger man felt like going to sleep.

He went towards the kitchen and put some water to boil, going to the refrigerator afterwards to grab something to eat before going to bed. He sat at the small table, eating his sandwich slowly and thoughtfully, the memory of Tavros´ lips sucking on his making him blush and put the food down on the table at times. He covered his eyes with his hand, shutting them tightly, swallowing thickly, the memory coming back over and over without him being able to make it go away. He bit his lower lip. It felt so wrong. He had barely even met the boy a couple of days ago and he had already kissed him twice. The first of those kisses being the first kiss he had ever shared with anyone. He chuckled in his own disbelief, shaking his head, his eyes going up to the cross that hung over the door. He was definitely going to hell now. Lust and homosexuality being his primary sins. He frowned deeply, pursing his lips, reminding himself that he never had believed in such stories anyways. Even when he went to church every Sunday along with his family, and heard the priest spit out curses and visions of hell had he believed one word of the passionate fantasy. He wasn´t going to start now. God couldn´t care less if he decided men were his deal. He had more important miracles to be thinking about and doing.

He sighed deeply, his thoughts going back to the tan, built man with the childish smile. He wasn´t able to suppress the urge of biting down on his lips again strongly. He wanted him. God, the boy had clung to his thoughts like a disease the minute he saw him for the first time a few nights back. He felt so attracted to him in every way, he wanted his body, he wanted his laugh, he wanted his stories. He was everything he had never seen before and never knew that wanted. He was the first man that had ever made him feel as if his lungs had forgotten how to expand each time he met his eyes. It was something he thought that only happened in the books his brother used to read and left behind for him to discover. It was something he had already decided could never happen to real people. But there he was, every cell in his body shaking and vibrating with the need of becoming one with the younger man. The need of being his.

He heard the water boiling and stood up to prepare himself some tea. He was careful to not make so much noise as he poured the water and stirred the brown liquid, feeling the loneliness the absolute silence inspired in the room. He wondered for a second if the other man ever thought of him so much like he did.

* * *

Tavros opened his eyes slowly, for the first time in what seemed weeks being able to wake up feeling so at peace. He got up immediately, feeling almost eager to go down the stairs and help prepare breakfast, not needing a clock anymore to know the sun was about to rise from how purple the horizon that looking.

He took his clothes and went to the bathroom downstairs, getting ready for the new day as the cold water splashed his face and lifted goose bumps on his refreshed body. Once he was ready he went towards the barn to get some milk for his grandparents, the expectation of seeing Gamzee being present in his head. Two weeks had already gone by since he got to that place, but to him it seemed like it had been a whole month already. He was already used to waking up so early, already used to the soreness of his muscles after a whole day of work and almost felt the burn as if it were a bliss, and was already used to the familiar face of his only helper around there. He was used to the animals and knew their names, he was used to the heat and the intense, cold nights, and was used to the butterflies he felt when he saw Gamzee´s face in the morning, or after a while of forgetting his existence. He smiled to himself as he entered the barn, being able to feel the older man´s punctual presence. He was already busy milking the cows.

-You always beat me to it.- He greeted him with a loud voice, getting closer from behind as Gamzee turned his face to meet his. He always wondered if the man slept any from how early he always was to his job.

-Good Morning. You gotta be faster.- He teased him cheerfully, handing him a bucket filled with the hot fresh milk.

-Thank you.- He said, faking annoyance, taking the container from his pale hands to get it inside the house. He turned around and started walking away, feeling Gamzee´s eyes glued to his back.

He hadn´t had any kind of physical contact with him since their kiss near the secret river. And this thought recurred to Tavros´ mind more times than it should during the day and before he laid his head on the pillow for sleep. He had tried some innocent pecks on the lips since then, when they were sitting alone outside the barn at night, but Gamzee had resisted, beginning to talk about random unimportant things as Tavros tried to get closer, or standing up to light a cigarette when he could have done it while sitting beside him. He was trying to put some distance between them. And Tavros was beginning to get frustrated.

He poured the milk on a pot and lighted the fire to boil it, hearing his grandfather washing himself inside the bathroom upstairs. He knew Gamzee wanted him. He could feel it from the way he looked at him with his hooded eyes at times, and could feel it from the tension that settled between them when they were alone and silence took over momentarily. He also knew he wasn´t mad at him, since he had been confiding in him more often now, and treated him like a good friend. And then he remembered where he was, and who he was, and remembered the uncomfortable questions he had made to Gamzee when he had just gotten from the city. The imprudent questions about his past experiences.

He stirred the pot as he came to a conclusion: Gamzee was scared. And he couldn´t blame him. He was scared to know where his little experimenting would go, and was afraid of everything that Tavros represented. He probably had never kissed a man before, and it was even more possible that he had never been involved in a romantic relationship. He pursed his lips and nodded slightly, as if that action proved that his speculations were right. He had to understand that he wasn´t in the damned city were sex was a hobby and love was overrated. Gamzee hadn´t been taught that way.

But he still was set on proving him that he meant no harm, and letting him know that he could trust him. Because the sexual fantasies that took over his imagination when he was alone in his room and pleasured himself weren´t getting rid of the desire for human contact. They were making it worse. They were pushing Tavros to feel the need to see Gamzee moaning and pleading under his weight, to see him covered in blush and sweat, to hear his sweet, husky voice echoing from the bedsprings and telling him how he wanted it. He bit hard on his lips, the memory of his own fantasies waking an accidental arousal. He didn´t know anymore if it was the fact that he was the only potential sexual partner miles around, or it was the fact that he was incredibly attractive to him, but he needed his body and his resistance was driving him crazy. He lifted his gaze and saw him through the window as he got out of the barn, finding his strong gaze and waving at him innocently with a bright smile.

* * *

Both young men were busy the whole day, Gamzee´s warning about work being a never ending quality of the farm-life being more accurate than Tavros would have wanted it to be. But the younger man found himself unable to whine about it anymore. He knew it was not his call to decide if it was going to be a tough day or not. Sometimes he wondered how his grandfather always had a job for them to do, no matter how clear it was at first sight that everything that needed doing was already done. But he always surprised them with a new task that he was not able to foresee. That day he had decided to tell the guys to get started in painting the house from the outside, being a pale yellow the chosen color. They had finished the first coat successfully, and were planning on applying the second coat the next day. Gamzee had told him he had never had as much work before, being 4 or 5 PM his usual time to leave for his house. He also told him he suspected that the older man was taking advantage of the extra help as he had stated previously, to do every renovation he had wanted to make over the lonely years. Tavros had laughed amused at that, hoping it wasn´t wearing the other man out. It wasn´t fair for him to be stuck in there well after bed time, even more now that he wondered if his grandfather had had the decency of rising his payment a bit.

He rubbed his hands on his pants, watching not very surprised as his painted hands stayed the same. He inhaled the night air deeply in his lungs, taking in some smoke from Gamzee´s cigarette as well by accident. He looked to the side to see him sitting there, smoking thoughtfully as he looked into the black sky littered with hundreds of tiny lights. He smiled faintly as he tried to save the scene deeply into his brain, wishing to remember it just like he was living it: The peaceful silence pierced by the deafening tune of desolation. The warm and now familiar smell of tobacco, a tinge of wet dirt and animals increasing the purity of the scent. Gamzee´s handsome face looking at him as he noticed he was staring, a toothy grin spreading on his face just as he wondered what he was thinking. He would give anything to save that image in his head. Would give anything to be able to remember it vividly once he was old and no one was beside him to see him die from decrepitude.

-Whatcha thinkin´ about?- He asked softly, the white smoke leaving his lips and nostrils to lift into the air and get lost in the immensity. Tavros shook his head, as if meaning to say he didn´t know.

-I´m kinda cold.- He responded instead, wrapping his arms around himself to sound more convincing. Gamzee threw the remains of his cigarette to the dirt, and stepped on it to put it out safely.

-You´re gonna leave?- He asked a bit disappointed, assuming he would want to get some rest inside his warm bed on the third floor. But Tavros shook his head.

-No. I want to stay with you a little longer. Let´s go inside.- He offered, meaning the barn next to them. Gamzee turned to look at the building, nodding shortly after and standing up to get inside. The body heat of the animals kept the place warm, and the light bulb far up in the ceiling gave the place a faint orange glow that seemed to soothe and relax upon contact. Tavros closed the wide doors behind him and followed Gamzee, who took the chance to take a peek at how the cows were doing. –They´re sleeping.- Tavros whispered behind him, stating the obvious as the creatures snored lightly. Gamzee nodded as his gaze lingered on them a little longer, to then turn around to look for a place to sit at. He stopped as he found himself almost bumping into Tavros´ stare. He chuckled a little surprised, and waited for the other to move and fetch a seat as well. But he did not move as he fixed his eyes on his firmly.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the way those half lidded, big brown eyes burned into his skull made him choke on his own words. He let out a quiet, low, involuntary squeak instead. He felt his breath inch closer, and his fingertips take hold of his face, and soon he felt his full lips press against his in a kiss that made his legs quiver and his stomach drop to the floor. He was able to feel his nose rubbing against his face, and was able to feel the way his hot breath rose goose bumps over his cold flesh; feeling his lips molding and pressing and parting slightly to melt his insides like hot butter. His lips tasted so good. Tasted so sweet and salty and wrong and naughty, and were so warm and moist he felt like he was going to faint from how good he felt against his mouth.

And the kiss he was receiving was so slow and deliberate, was so hot and delicious he found himself tugging at his grown-out mohawk with his slender, long fingers, and groaning in his throat faintly. He felt Tavros´ tongue press against the roof of his mouth and wrap itself around his, and he barely even noticed the intruding hand that felt him up until it grabbed a handful of ass that made him gasp into the other´s mouth from embarrassment.

The older man broke the kiss to look at him surprised, the strong hand still gripping his bottom to rub and feel its round shape over his old jeans. Gamzee felt the flush increase as the other´s hand decided to creep up his back again, watching the amused little smile Tavros was showing off on his reddened lips. He observed those lips a second more before they were too close to see them anymore, being able to feel them pressing against his once again, cold saliva meeting his own and making a pleasant shiver shake his insides.

This time he tried to keep track of the hands that were now touching him slowly, feeling them run through his dark hair, feeling them massage his shoulders for a second before going down his flat chest, feeling them grip his sides and then find themselves on his protruding hip bones, his thumbs rubbing and toying with the rim of his jeans. He felt one hand leave his hips to suddenly find a place over his body again before he could miss it, cupping his half hard cock over the thick fabric. He let out a loud groan, this one being louder than the last and he broke the kiss again to look down with quizzical eyes.

-Shh…- Tavros made sure to tell him to keep quiet, pressing his hand roughly against the man´s intimacy, making him hiss through his teeth and try to close his legs as he gripped his shoulders firmly and found a place to hide his face against the crook of his neck.

-W-wait…- But Tavros pressed again, massaging and feeling his penis getting harder than before, and feeling his hot, moist breathing against his neck and his vocal chords pleading for it to stop and to never end at the same time.

Gamzee gripped both of his shoulders as he felt him tug at his pants, feeling the jerk of the button being undone, and hearing the loud rip of the zipper go all the way down. He felt the other´s hands pull the old jeans down along with the worn out boxers, the clothing pooling at his feet after the noiseless fall. He heard the other gasp a bit before letting his fingertips glide over his length slowly and leave burning streaks of heat where his skin had caressed his. He expected a more direct contact as his cock twitched in expectation, but soon he heard another zipper being undone and heard the soft thud of fabric hitting the ground. Gamzee lifted his face from where he was hiding it on Tavros´ neck and dared to take a peek at what was going on below his waist. He was able to see Tavros´ half hard penis just before his own, the younger man´s hand guiding the tip until it caressed Gamzee´s length. Both men groaned with the pleasurable contact, and Gamzee bucked his hips forward involuntarily. –Fuck…- He whispered softly, biting his lips as a thousand thoughts raced through his mind to then be silenced completely as Tavros griped his dick along with his own to press them together with his strong hand. –Oh, God..!- He bucked forwards, nails digging on the other´s shoulders, his breath hissing through his teeth as the wave of pleasure seized his body.

Tavros griped the base of both members tightly, slowly sliding his hand up until he reached the tips, to then slide back down in such a deliberate manner that had Gamzee groaning with difficulty from the lack of air in his lugs and made him raise the pitch in his voice to the point in which Tavros didn´t recognize the husky voice hiding behind it.

-How does it feel?- He murmured, pressing his lips against the long neck before him, feeling the wild speed of his heartbeat pumping against his lips. He was able to feel Gamzee swallowing thickly, to then nod hastily. He took that as a positive answer, and smiled before biting down on the sensitive skin of his pale neck carefully.

He began to pump slowly and rhythmically, feeling the vibration of Gamzee´s moaning under his lips as he kissed his throat, feeling his nails dig deep into his shoulders before gripping his shoulder blades firmly with slender fingers. He let his free hand grip his white ass again, feeling as he tensed his muscles with each thrust he gave forward into Tavros´ hand and cock. He removed his hand from his ass for a moment to lick his fingers and moist them with saliva, to then place them back on his bottom and massage his entrance before pushing in a finger inside those tight walls.

-Tavros!- He gasped his name as he felt the intrusion, tensing his whole body and looking for those full lips for a kiss. Tavros´ hand job was gaining a vertiginous speed, ripping loud moans from both mouths as they kissed, filling the quiet air with the dirty sound of skin hitting skin, making the older man see electric lights behind his tightly closed lids and feel shivers travel his body that shook him violently like lightning. Tavros could feel Gamzee nearing his orgasm as his high pitched moans came with more volume and incoherence, and as he held on to him tightly as if that was the only thing preventing his thin body from falling to the ground due to his shaking legs.

The tight muscle walls around his digit were closing and dilating with each wave of pleasure as he pushed it knuckle deep and masturbated both members roughly and rapidly, Gamzee´s voice echoing in his eardrums and giving him goose bumps from how sexy it sounded as he rapidly asphyxiated with the overwhelming pleasure, feeling his own body get washed over and over with waves of blessed warmth and cold that disoriented him and guided him towards the climax. And he felt those walls close tight around his finger and felt Gamzee´s nails rip the skin of his tanned back, and felt his thin frame tense and shake under the merciful jolt of pleasure of his orgasm as he cried out a loud moan that woke the animals. He felt warm liquid spill over his hand and soon he came along, splattering more semen over his own hand as he grunted his orgasm and heard his own pulse in his ears.

Gamzee let go of his tight grip over Tavros, feeling his hands numb from the strength with which he had been holding on to him. He was panting hardly and felt sweat run down from his brow to his jaw, his heart racing inside his chest and pounding in his ears and temples. He saw Tavros give him a huge, satisfied grin despite the scratches now decorating his back. The animals stirred from the light and the noise. He smiled back to him lazily, getting close once more to his sweaty, tired body to let his head rest over Tavros´ shoulder and close his eyes to catch his breath. There was silence except for the animal´s curious investigation and the slow recovery of their normal breathing.

* * *

**sorry for taking so long on all the fics Im doing here have some sssmut what**

**Im also gonna try to fix some errors on previous chapter, it seems the doc manager eats the spaces for some reason**

**EDIT- okay I´ve been bitchin with this thing and I officially give up I do not know how to work this website I am sorry for the inconveniences of the parragraphs not being spaced enough BUT THIS THING AHHHH sorry i tried and failed but thumbs up for the horizontal line thingy**


	6. Chapter 6

His shirt sticked to his back from the heat outside. His fingers where dialing the phone number he had memorized months ago, adding some area codes the lady at the counter was yelling at him to dial each time he lifted his eyes to tell her the phone didn´t work. Gamzee was leaning against the wall, his eyes going from Tavros´ to his hurried fingers clicking the numbers on the old phone. He wished he could help him, but the last time he used that phone he just gave up on it. Tavros´ expression changed in the blink of an eye and Gamzee knew he had finally got it.

-Hello?- He spoke into the microphone, his eyes darting to Gamzee and to the lady as if he suddenly wondered if he will have the privacy he desired. He knew he wouldn´t. –Aradia? Yes, it´s me.- He smiled widely, his eyes squinting in the process from true happiness. He hadn´t heard her voice in weeks, and the melodic tune of it seemed to wake in him good memories of a life-long friendship. –Yeah, I´m alright.- He nodded as he spoke as if the girl would see him.

Gamzee observed him speak for a long time, leaning against the cool wall from a distance where he could both hear and pretend he wasn´t interested in his conversation. He wondered who he was speaking to, and decided it was probably a woman. His mother? He didn´t think so. The ex girlfriend he sometimes went on and on without realizing? He thought that was a possibility, but Tavros looked way too happy for it to be her. He tensed in place for a second. What if it was her indeed, and that was just the reaction she got out of him? Happiness. Relief for being able to hear her voice again. He didn´t notice he had been digging his nails in his palms until it hurt too much to go unnoticed. He sighed, feeling angry and stupid at the same time. He had no right to get mad. He heard Tavros laughing loudly, his cheeks getting red and he cursed himself for not hearing what he had said before that. He decided to remove himself from his place and stomp out of Ms. James shop.

The sun was high up in the sky, glaring at the people below and roasting them without mercy. It was easily one of the hottest days of the season, and the sweat ran down Gamzee´s brow annoyingly, glistening in the light. Gamzee breathed in and out heavily, trying to calm himself. He always was one to get upset easily, and his rage was awakened with special intensity when it called for it. But he had learned to control it well over the years, and it usually didn´t get out of control. But that didn´t mean he did not feel it boiling inside of him.

Tavros had entered his life exactly a month ago, and in that time lapse he had spent every day by his side in his grandfather´s property, working most of the time together. It had become a pleasant routine to relax in or outside the barn after work, when the sun had hidden and all that was left of it was a subtle hot breeze to warm the night for a while. They would talk about the past, and talk about the future in long conversations that lasted too long. But they never talked about the present.

They would embrace in passionate kisses once everyone was asleep, hidden from any eyes besides the animal´s, submerging in a world that consisted only of them, their hot blood and silence. They hadn´t had any further intimacy since that day inside the barn, and Gamzee wondered if Tavros wanted to take it slow for his sake. Tavros´ mind was a mystery he could only wish to one day understand properly. Maybe it had something to do with growing up in the city. Maybe it was just him. But the fact remained that Tavros talked about anything but "them". What exactly where they? Friends? Lovers? Did Gamzee mean anything to Tavros? He had to. But the real question was, did he mean to Tavros as much as Tavros meant to him?

He felt a hand grip his shoulder firmly to call for his attention, and Gamzee turned around to face the person who had disturbed his thoughts. His anger had vanished a while ago, and all that remained was a melancholic shadow over his dark eyes.

-I´m done.- He stated, fresh smile shining hugely. Gamzee tried to smile and nodded distractedly, looking elsewhere. –You ready to go? Or do you need something from here?- Tavros asked equally distracted, his mind back on the previous call.

-Your grandpa needed us to get a hold of the doctor.- he reminded him in monotone.

-You´re right.- he nodded, the previous joy fading almost completely. He remembered his grandmother had gotten sick. Gamzee felt guilty for reminding him like that. –Maybe I should call my dad too.- He said thoughtfully, turning around to look at Ms. James shop again. He didn´t want to worry him for nothing. But then again… -I´ll be right back.- he murmured hurriedly, leaving Gamzee alone again, to his own thoughts.

* * *

Tavros was rather quiet during the ride in Gamzee´s truck. They were heading towards Gamzee´s house to get some medication the doctor had said Tavros´ grandmother could use for now, at least until he had the time to go check on her himself. He had described the symptoms and gave him a list of things he should do and medication that could ease her pain, and Gamzee had told him he had some of those in his house anyways. Tavros tried to keep his eyes on the new road, since it was the first time he had gone to his friend´s house and wanted to know his way there in case he needed it.

They parked at the side of an old small house, and Gamzee led him inside in the same silence Tavros was holding on to. He sighed as soon as he stepped inside the cool shade of his roof, throwing the keys on the couch and opening the curtains to let the light inside the dark place.

-Take a seat, I´ll be right back.- he told him, walking off to a door that led to a small corridor. Tavros sat there, hearing his footsteps fade away, and then was surrounded by dead silence bathed in the clock´s annoying tick and tock. He was able to sit there calmly for about five seconds before standing up to look at the pictures over the small table against the wall. There was a big portrait of a woman with black locks and dark eyes, who looked straight from the picture with a serene smile and sweet aura to her. "Gamzee´s mother", he said to himself, sure of his own hunch. It was like looking at a female version of his friend.

There were other smaller pictures around the big one, all facing him, small boys with bright smiles being the main theme. He crouched down to look at one framed picture in more detail, a small smile beginning to tug at his lips. It was a picture of a man with long raven black hair and skinny frame, probably in his twenties, hugging a younger Gamzee from behind, both with huge and heartwarming smiles. He picked it up almost unconsciously, putting it in front of his face as his smiled widened. Gamzee looked so genuinely happy, so young and innocent. He put it back down where it was, and gave a quick look to the rest of the many pictures and portraits before moving on to the few paintings on the wall. He heard Gamzee enter the room.

-Found them. Good thing my dad didn´t throw them away.- he was smiling relieved as he approached Tavros, the pills in the bottle rattling with each step he took. He saw how Tavros was glued the paintings. –My mother painted them.- He said quietly, with a tone of voice that gave in the pride he felt for that fact, and also advised to not ask any more questions about it.

-Beautiful.- was all he said, turning to look at Gamzee again. He saw him put the pills inside his pants´ pocket, to then stand there and stare at him back. –So this is where you live.- He stated with a sigh, looking around once more. Gamzee nodded. –huh.- He nodded to himself as well, eying Gamzee as he looked to the ground.

-We shoul-

-You okay?- Tavros interrupted him, a softer and sweeter tone of voice taking Gamzee by surprise. He blinked, meeting eyes with Tavros for a second before breaking into a soft laugh.

-Yeah, sure. Why wouldn´t I? Come on, let´s leave.- He smiled, shaking his head, starting to turn around to head for the door. He hadn´t thought the man would notice the sadness he was slowly nurturing in his heart.

-Gamzee, please, you have that puppy face going on.- He laughed quietly, following Gamzee and taking hold of his shoulder to make it clear they weren´t leaving until Gamzee said what was in his mind. Gamzee turned around to face him with little enthusiasm. Tavros raised his eyebrows, insisting in his question. –You can tell me.-

-I´m fine.- He objected, but not really doing an effort to appear to be "fine" in the least of ways. Tavros stared at him for far too many seconds, crunching his eyebrows in growing concern, trying to read in his dark eyes the reason for his blue mood. Gamzee kept his quiet gaze stubbornly. Tavros sighed.

-Come here.- He ordered, not waiting for Gamzee to follow the petition before he stepped closer and cupped his thin face in his hands softly. The older one closed his eyes as Tavros leaned in closer, feeling his breathing, and feeling his lips pressing against his. The kiss was so sweet and light it made Gamzee feel a hot shiver travel his skin. It made his face heat up with rushing blood. It made his lips part for more just as Tavros leaned away. He reopened his eyes seeing Tavros in a blur, to then feel the blur leave his eyes in liquid form, and feel the warm tears run down his cheeks like two droplets of lonely rain. He felt his stomach drop to the floor. He shouldn´t have done that, shouldn´t have let that happen.

He saw Tavros crunch his eyebrows deeply, looking straight at him, cleaning a lone tear away with his thumb just has he opened his mouth to speak.

-We have to leave.- Gamzee spoke a little too loud, interrupting, pushing Tavros away softly and turning around to leave. Tavros waited a few seconds, feeling a weird mixture of sympathy and guilt, and followed Gamzee to the truck in the same silence they had arrived in.

* * *

It was late at night when Tavros was able to get out of the house again to fetch Gamzee. He had stayed inside all day, following his grandfathers´ orders, the worry in his old eyes hurting his young chest. He had worries of his own, but the fact that his grandmother was sick and no one seemed to know for how long she would be in bed was wearing him down.

He walked inside the barn expecting to see his only friend in that place as he always did, and once he didn't see him sitting in their usual bench, he walked further inside to where the cows where safely tucked for bed, and the few goats where playing happily now that the heat was long gone. He searched with his eyes slowly, halfway expecting Gamzee to be laying down with one of the animals to relax as he found him once. But there was no sign of him except for the light he had forgotten to turn off when he left, apparently.

Tavros crunched his eyebrows once again, wondering why he had left without a goodbye, and why he hadn´t felt like chatting until late hours as was the routine. He remembered he had started behaving more distant after they had gone to the town. He remembered the tears he had let himself shed while he was holding his face after their kiss. He thought that maybe it was a personal problem he hadn´t told him about. He felt a little hurt about that possibility, since he had grown the habit of telling him basically everything, specially his problems. Spending day after day endless hours by his side had made him trust the man and become his best friend quicker than he had thought. The amount of time they spent together during the day made up for the amount of time in weeks it would have taken them in other circumstances to grow so close. That had happened to him only once before in his life, back when he was 11 and met a girl while he was at camp. Her name was Aradia and they spent the whole week together without being able to give each other a break. They have been good friends ever since. The difference with Gamzee was that he had first intended for him to be his bed partner, something he had reconsidered after some cold-headed thought. He had his reasons and fears.

He sighed disappointed, eyeing the place once more before turning off the lights and closing the barn for that night. He looked around outside anyways, hoping to sense the smell of tobacco coming out of a near place. He had no luck. Another possibility popped in his mind as he made the walk back to the house in the darkness. A possibility that had been hiding in the doldrums of his mind, silent, but always present when Gamzee looked at him with an especially thoughtful set of eyes. He shook his head, not knowing how to handle the situation if his hunch was right. Not knowing if he felt the same.

* * *

**Oh wow this is shit. Also, I find it incredibly hard to not turn everything I write into angst of some sort. There´s always someone crying oh dear Gods**

**Tell me now if I messed up I´m just in the right mood to work miracles. Correction miracles.**

**And I´m so sorry for taking so long but you know real life can be hard and bring ya down**

**Thank you to all of you who faved and commented this fanfic! c:**


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